at some point on friday lu bixing's coming by our sweet nameless child's room! he knocks on the door, and when its answered, he looks a little surprised - but, has a small, warm smile for him anyway, even if he looks tired. ]
How are you holding up? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to barge in...
[ oh nameless. :( lu bixing is... well, he's out and about, if more subdued than usual, today. his walks find him to the bookstore - when he spots our sweet little homunculus, he gives him a small smile and comes over to check on him.
lu bixing looks. very tired. it has been one hell of a week. ]
[ well what is probably good for a baby who needs to have so many hugs is that lu bixing gives
REALLY good hugs. like, really good. he's very warm, and he smells nice, and you can just feel the emotion in it. the warmth and care. the hurt for losing someone you really liked, so soon, so suddenly, so violently. there's something about nameless that feels so familiar for bixing, and he knows - he knows gestures like this matter, intimately, importantly, for someone like this, in moments like this.
[He has been hugged once in his entire life, before he died and ended up in hell. And to be honest. Lu Bixing's hugs are at least on par with the warmth that he felt when from that hug giver.
While he doesn't cry, and doesn't hug back, he does tuck his face into his shoulder, soaking in the warmth.]
[ it's - like, crushingly familiar, for lu bixing, if from a different angle. even when nameless doesn't hug back. in fact, that's what makes it feel the same.
his fingers curl a little in the back of his shirt, and he takes a deep breath. steady and slow, calm, feeling the way nameless tucks into his shoulder and making a quiet noise. trying for reassuring, both in the warmth of the hug and in his own actions. something steady to lean on, when you don't even know how to feel unsteady, quite yet. only that it can be earthshaking, shattering, to feel loss when you barely know what loss can feel like. ]
...It's going to be okay.
[ lu bixing says, finally, quietly. even if it doesn't feel like it, it will be. ]
[ really, he doesn't know, either. he's not all that different from nameless, in the end. ]
I hope so, too.
[ because that's really all you can do. he doesn't pull back, really - he'll let nameless stay there as long as he likes, being held. maybe he'll even hug back. ]
...Maybe not now. Maybe not even next week, or weeks from now, but it... it'll have to be. Eventually. I think I have to believe that.
[ he's here! lu bixing is probably just stretched on lin jingheng's bed, honestly. he's being fussed over half to death. but, when nameless approaches him, he still has a little smile for him in greeting, even after maybe the Worst Week Ever. ]
... Hi, kiddo. [ and, well. he thinks about it, for a moment, and then. ] ...I think some water, might be nice. If you wouldn't mind.
[ he gets it. he likes the feeling of being useful, sometimes, and - he remembers an incident not all that long ago, with his students pushing coffee into his hands, the way it helped him when almost nothing else did. he looks grateful when nameless returns, wrapping his hands around the cup and shifting a little to sit up, so he might drink it. ]
w0, friday
at some point on friday lu bixing's coming by our sweet nameless child's room! he knocks on the door, and when its answered, he looks a little surprised - but, has a small, warm smile for him anyway, even if he looks tired. ]
How are you holding up? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to barge in...
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[But he does step aside to let Lu Bixing come in, if he would like to.]
It's alright. I don't mind having company.
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I'm worried, too. I think it's hard not to be.
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[Aren't they dead enough?]
w1: Thursday
Nameless is going to track down Lu Bixing if he can.]
Do you need anything?
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Hi, kiddo. [ sweet baby. ] I'm okay - I'm not hurt like the others.
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[ because, ultimately, it's true. ] It wasn't anything I hadn't seen before, really.
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Do you want to talk about it, or take your mind off of it?
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The latter might be nice. Talk to me - how has your week been?
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It's been alright. I learned how to climb with Scaramouche.
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Oh? Did you have fun? Where'd you do that?
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I did. The big spinning wheel. [The Ferris Wheel.]
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And it didn't fall apart...? That's good. Did you guys get all the way to the top?
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We got up pretty high. The view is good from up there.
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[ he's
joking. maybe? he wiggles his arm that's bandaged. ] It might be fun.
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[He can't tell if this is a joke or not, but it's probably better to do stuff together rather than apart?]
week 1, post dead
lu bixing looks. very tired. it has been one hell of a week. ]
Hey, kid. How're you feeling...?
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[ It only took a moment, but he has no desire to lie about this. ]
I'm going to miss her.
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lu bixing gives him a smile. it's - sad, it's really sad. ]
...I am, too. [ it's heartbreaking. ] I miss her already.
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...Is it alright if I hug you?
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REALLY good hugs. like, really good. he's very warm, and he smells nice, and you can just feel the emotion in it. the warmth and care. the hurt for losing someone you really liked, so soon, so suddenly, so violently. there's something about nameless that feels so familiar for bixing, and he knows - he knows gestures like this matter, intimately, importantly, for someone like this, in moments like this.
big dad hug ]
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While he doesn't cry, and doesn't hug back, he does tuck his face into his shoulder, soaking in the warmth.]
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his fingers curl a little in the back of his shirt, and he takes a deep breath. steady and slow, calm, feeling the way nameless tucks into his shoulder and making a quiet noise. trying for reassuring, both in the warmth of the hug and in his own actions. something steady to lean on, when you don't even know how to feel unsteady, quite yet. only that it can be earthshaking, shattering, to feel loss when you barely know what loss can feel like. ]
...It's going to be okay.
[ lu bixing says, finally, quietly. even if it doesn't feel like it, it will be. ]
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And he has to wonder... is that true? Is it true because it's true? Or is it true because that's what Lu Bixing wants it to be?
What is "okay" after losing someone they both cared for?]
... I hope you're right.
[Because he doesn't know one way or another.]
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I hope so, too.
[ because that's really all you can do. he doesn't pull back, really - he'll let nameless stay there as long as he likes, being held. maybe he'll even hug back. ]
...Maybe not now. Maybe not even next week, or weeks from now, but it... it'll have to be. Eventually. I think I have to believe that.
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Eventually.
Time is a gift or a curse, and the only difference is how much of it someone has.
He closes his eyes and hopes that Lu Bixing is right, and they'll have enough time to get better.]
... Eventually.
w1: Sunday
Would you like anything...?
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... Hi, kiddo. [ and, well. he thinks about it, for a moment, and then. ] ...I think some water, might be nice. If you wouldn't mind.
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Nameless, however, nods at the request and will be back shortly with some water.
He doesn't say anything more, because he's really not sure what to say. "Damn dude, you had a rough one" clearly isn't it (from Nameless).]
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How are you feeling?
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[It's the murder and the execution! It's hard to deal with!]