[ well what is probably good for a baby who needs to have so many hugs is that lu bixing gives
REALLY good hugs. like, really good. he's very warm, and he smells nice, and you can just feel the emotion in it. the warmth and care. the hurt for losing someone you really liked, so soon, so suddenly, so violently. there's something about nameless that feels so familiar for bixing, and he knows - he knows gestures like this matter, intimately, importantly, for someone like this, in moments like this.
[He has been hugged once in his entire life, before he died and ended up in hell. And to be honest. Lu Bixing's hugs are at least on par with the warmth that he felt when from that hug giver.
While he doesn't cry, and doesn't hug back, he does tuck his face into his shoulder, soaking in the warmth.]
[ it's - like, crushingly familiar, for lu bixing, if from a different angle. even when nameless doesn't hug back. in fact, that's what makes it feel the same.
his fingers curl a little in the back of his shirt, and he takes a deep breath. steady and slow, calm, feeling the way nameless tucks into his shoulder and making a quiet noise. trying for reassuring, both in the warmth of the hug and in his own actions. something steady to lean on, when you don't even know how to feel unsteady, quite yet. only that it can be earthshaking, shattering, to feel loss when you barely know what loss can feel like. ]
...It's going to be okay.
[ lu bixing says, finally, quietly. even if it doesn't feel like it, it will be. ]
[ really, he doesn't know, either. he's not all that different from nameless, in the end. ]
I hope so, too.
[ because that's really all you can do. he doesn't pull back, really - he'll let nameless stay there as long as he likes, being held. maybe he'll even hug back. ]
...Maybe not now. Maybe not even next week, or weeks from now, but it... it'll have to be. Eventually. I think I have to believe that.
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lu bixing gives him a smile. it's - sad, it's really sad. ]
...I am, too. [ it's heartbreaking. ] I miss her already.
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...Is it alright if I hug you?
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REALLY good hugs. like, really good. he's very warm, and he smells nice, and you can just feel the emotion in it. the warmth and care. the hurt for losing someone you really liked, so soon, so suddenly, so violently. there's something about nameless that feels so familiar for bixing, and he knows - he knows gestures like this matter, intimately, importantly, for someone like this, in moments like this.
big dad hug ]
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While he doesn't cry, and doesn't hug back, he does tuck his face into his shoulder, soaking in the warmth.]
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his fingers curl a little in the back of his shirt, and he takes a deep breath. steady and slow, calm, feeling the way nameless tucks into his shoulder and making a quiet noise. trying for reassuring, both in the warmth of the hug and in his own actions. something steady to lean on, when you don't even know how to feel unsteady, quite yet. only that it can be earthshaking, shattering, to feel loss when you barely know what loss can feel like. ]
...It's going to be okay.
[ lu bixing says, finally, quietly. even if it doesn't feel like it, it will be. ]
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And he has to wonder... is that true? Is it true because it's true? Or is it true because that's what Lu Bixing wants it to be?
What is "okay" after losing someone they both cared for?]
... I hope you're right.
[Because he doesn't know one way or another.]
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I hope so, too.
[ because that's really all you can do. he doesn't pull back, really - he'll let nameless stay there as long as he likes, being held. maybe he'll even hug back. ]
...Maybe not now. Maybe not even next week, or weeks from now, but it... it'll have to be. Eventually. I think I have to believe that.
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Eventually.
Time is a gift or a curse, and the only difference is how much of it someone has.
He closes his eyes and hopes that Lu Bixing is right, and they'll have enough time to get better.]
... Eventually.