[ it's - like, crushingly familiar, for lu bixing, if from a different angle. even when nameless doesn't hug back. in fact, that's what makes it feel the same.
his fingers curl a little in the back of his shirt, and he takes a deep breath. steady and slow, calm, feeling the way nameless tucks into his shoulder and making a quiet noise. trying for reassuring, both in the warmth of the hug and in his own actions. something steady to lean on, when you don't even know how to feel unsteady, quite yet. only that it can be earthshaking, shattering, to feel loss when you barely know what loss can feel like. ]
...It's going to be okay.
[ lu bixing says, finally, quietly. even if it doesn't feel like it, it will be. ]
[ really, he doesn't know, either. he's not all that different from nameless, in the end. ]
I hope so, too.
[ because that's really all you can do. he doesn't pull back, really - he'll let nameless stay there as long as he likes, being held. maybe he'll even hug back. ]
...Maybe not now. Maybe not even next week, or weeks from now, but it... it'll have to be. Eventually. I think I have to believe that.
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his fingers curl a little in the back of his shirt, and he takes a deep breath. steady and slow, calm, feeling the way nameless tucks into his shoulder and making a quiet noise. trying for reassuring, both in the warmth of the hug and in his own actions. something steady to lean on, when you don't even know how to feel unsteady, quite yet. only that it can be earthshaking, shattering, to feel loss when you barely know what loss can feel like. ]
...It's going to be okay.
[ lu bixing says, finally, quietly. even if it doesn't feel like it, it will be. ]
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And he has to wonder... is that true? Is it true because it's true? Or is it true because that's what Lu Bixing wants it to be?
What is "okay" after losing someone they both cared for?]
... I hope you're right.
[Because he doesn't know one way or another.]
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I hope so, too.
[ because that's really all you can do. he doesn't pull back, really - he'll let nameless stay there as long as he likes, being held. maybe he'll even hug back. ]
...Maybe not now. Maybe not even next week, or weeks from now, but it... it'll have to be. Eventually. I think I have to believe that.
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Eventually.
Time is a gift or a curse, and the only difference is how much of it someone has.
He closes his eyes and hopes that Lu Bixing is right, and they'll have enough time to get better.]
... Eventually.