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[ ...
he delivers this story very quietly, folding his hands in his lap - with the steadiness of his ]
He... We were in the middle of a political event when a fleet of ships attacked the planet we were on, and the situation got out of control. He was on the ground, and I wasn't. He's - Lin's the commander of the Silver Ten, the best military force in any of the galaxies, so of course, he was trying to help. I found out he was going to pilot his ship directly into a transfer portal that connected us to another galaxy - in doing so, he was aiming to cut the other ships off and destroy them from inside, so that the Eighth would be safe from attacks like it. [ so he would be safe, so lu bixing would be. ] I knew it was dangerous, and I tried to follow him so I could bring him back and stop him, and his second in command even enabled it. She gave me the keys to a mech and told me to go to a launch bay. I took the keys, walked into the elevator...
...And the second the doors closed, they filled the elevator with an anesthetic gas that knocked me out against my will. On Lin's orders.
When I woke up, he'd blown up the entire transfer portal to save us, and killed himself in the process. My father died, too - they both knew exactly what they were doing, and they sacrificed their lives to make sure I could keep living.
[ as he finishes, he looks down, and for the first time - someone who's always a light, someone who tends to carry gravitas, just looks so, so tired. ]
The only problem with that was that I didn't want to, without either of them there. But neither of them thought about that. No one ever does.
he delivers this story very quietly, folding his hands in his lap - with the steadiness of his ]
He... We were in the middle of a political event when a fleet of ships attacked the planet we were on, and the situation got out of control. He was on the ground, and I wasn't. He's - Lin's the commander of the Silver Ten, the best military force in any of the galaxies, so of course, he was trying to help. I found out he was going to pilot his ship directly into a transfer portal that connected us to another galaxy - in doing so, he was aiming to cut the other ships off and destroy them from inside, so that the Eighth would be safe from attacks like it. [ so he would be safe, so lu bixing would be. ] I knew it was dangerous, and I tried to follow him so I could bring him back and stop him, and his second in command even enabled it. She gave me the keys to a mech and told me to go to a launch bay. I took the keys, walked into the elevator...
...And the second the doors closed, they filled the elevator with an anesthetic gas that knocked me out against my will. On Lin's orders.
When I woke up, he'd blown up the entire transfer portal to save us, and killed himself in the process. My father died, too - they both knew exactly what they were doing, and they sacrificed their lives to make sure I could keep living.
[ as he finishes, he looks down, and for the first time - someone who's always a light, someone who tends to carry gravitas, just looks so, so tired. ]
The only problem with that was that I didn't want to, without either of them there. But neither of them thought about that. No one ever does.
[He listens quietly. There's a lot that's difficult to imagine -- an otherworldly setting, intergalactic travel, technology beyond his understanding...
But what happened... the loss, the despair, that part is plenty vivid.]
Then, you...
[...]
But what happened... the loss, the despair, that part is plenty vivid.]
Then, you...
[...]
...Then, I had to lead the Eighth. I had to survive, and pick up the pieces. I had no choice but to do what they wished of me, and what the people of the galaxy needed. I've been their prime minister for seventeen years. And I'm good at it. I made sure we could build the society that they left behind.
[ ... ]
...But every single day was a struggle. For the first hundred days, I locked myself in my house and didn't see anyone. I did nothing but work, and grieve. After that, I started to leave to manage things as the Prime Minister when the old one passed away, because I had to, but the grief never stopped. More than once, I tried to kill myself and stopped myself at the last second, because I had to stay alive. They died for me, and the galaxy needed me, so I forced myself to live.
It didn't feel like living. In fact, waking up here - and waking up here, with Lin, felt like a relief.
[ ... ]
...But every single day was a struggle. For the first hundred days, I locked myself in my house and didn't see anyone. I did nothing but work, and grieve. After that, I started to leave to manage things as the Prime Minister when the old one passed away, because I had to, but the grief never stopped. More than once, I tried to kill myself and stopped myself at the last second, because I had to stay alive. They died for me, and the galaxy needed me, so I forced myself to live.
It didn't feel like living. In fact, waking up here - and waking up here, with Lin, felt like a relief.
[......]
... So that's why you reacted so strongly at the trial.
[To the attempted self-sacrifice.]
... So that's why you reacted so strongly at the trial.
[To the attempted self-sacrifice.]
[zelgadis is too emotionally repressed to not look a little awkward the second he hears the "L" word.]
I wasn't really trying to prove anything...
I wasn't really trying to prove anything...
Wasn't trying to be brave, either. I just...
...
... don't want her to die.
...
... don't want her to die.
[ this new location is bixing's favorite place, actually. at some point, if zelgadis happens to wander on the outside of the resort, on the slops and kind of near the kitchen, he might hear the crackle of a small fire.
something smells really good, out here, actually... if he rounds the corner, he'll see lu bixing! he's dressed appropriately in his trenchcoat, with a scarf from the little gift shop wrapped around his neck, and it looks like he has a pair of earmuffs perched on his head, and he's wearing a dog kigu under that.
but more importantly, he's sitting near the source of the little fire! ]
something smells really good, out here, actually... if he rounds the corner, he'll see lu bixing! he's dressed appropriately in his trenchcoat, with a scarf from the little gift shop wrapped around his neck, and it looks like he has a pair of earmuffs perched on his head, and he's wearing a dog kigu under that.
but more importantly, he's sitting near the source of the little fire! ]
Edited 2023-03-20 22:24 (UTC)
[Sure, Zel's curious enough to wander over here. He's just wearing his normal cloak -- it seems he doesn't really need to bundle up for the cold. He stops to consider the dog kigu... then looks to the fire.
What smells so good......]
What smells so good......]
[ it's meat!!! it looks like he's barbecueing something from the kitchen, and when he spots zelgadis, he gives him a smile. he's got a whole little setup here, with a... he's using a harpoon as a spit. the likelihood he borrowed that from jingheng is high.
anyway ]
Hey, Zelgadis. Are you hungry?
anyway ]
Hey, Zelgadis. Are you hungry?
[he studies the meat thoughtfully.]
... Sure.
[guess he'll come over and sit near him.]
... Sure.
[guess he'll come over and sit near him.]
[ it's some kind of beef from visual - also, there's a package of something that must have been frozen sitting near his feet, along with a collection of spices and some other tasty stuff. the smile he gives him is a little tired, but it's still as warm as ever. ]
My dad took me out for a barbecue once, when it was snowing. I thought that I might try it out myself, here - it's a little archaic, but, it's kind of nice to do things the old fashioned way every once in a while.
My dad took me out for a barbecue once, when it was snowing. I thought that I might try it out myself, here - it's a little archaic, but, it's kind of nice to do things the old fashioned way every once in a while.
I see...
[he looks over the setup thoughtfully.]
I was wondering why you'd go out of your way to sit out in the cold when there's a shelter right there...
[for zel, this kind of campfire setup is just everyday life. he doesn't quite get the fun or nostalgia aspects.]
[he looks over the setup thoughtfully.]
I was wondering why you'd go out of your way to sit out in the cold when there's a shelter right there...
[for zel, this kind of campfire setup is just everyday life. he doesn't quite get the fun or nostalgia aspects.]
[ happy sunday!! not. it sure was a day.
lu bixing is in the ice bar this evening. more specifically, he's laying down on the icy surface but near the fireplace, wrapped in several warm blankets, and he appears to be reading a book! the room smells faintly of coffee despite the drinks.
he looks up when someone comes in, and offers zelgadis a tired smile. ]
lu bixing is in the ice bar this evening. more specifically, he's laying down on the icy surface but near the fireplace, wrapped in several warm blankets, and he appears to be reading a book! the room smells faintly of coffee despite the drinks.
he looks up when someone comes in, and offers zelgadis a tired smile. ]
[he stops to look at him... then, when it seems he's been noticed, offers a nod in response.]
What are you reading?
What are you reading?
[ he holds the book up for him to see: The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, by Robert Louis Stevenson. ]
A little science fiction from Ancient Earth. Thought I could use a little distraction. [ all things considered. this week sucks. ] You doing okay?
A little science fiction from Ancient Earth. Thought I could use a little distraction. [ all things considered. this week sucks. ] You doing okay?
[there's a brief, thoughtful look at the title -- he might have heard those names yesterday, at the trial.]
... Yeah. About as well as can be expected, after what just happened.
[his roommate... his bluemmate...]
... Yeah. About as well as can be expected, after what just happened.
[his roommate... his bluemmate...]
[ good memory zelgadis. bixing just gives him a little smile at the thoughtful look, tucking his bookmark into his spot - the smile fades, after. ]
...Mm. Every week, these have been brutal, but... it was hard, to hear the way that Filbo saw himself like that.
...Mm. Every week, these have been brutal, but... it was hard, to hear the way that Filbo saw himself like that.
Yeah...
[he folds his arms.]
I knew something was off about him lately, but I didn't really think to say anything...
[he folds his arms.]
I knew something was off about him lately, but I didn't really think to say anything...
We weren't very close, but...
[ mm. he sets his book down, fiddling absently at the edge of the cover. ]
You could probably hear it, right? My voice, at the end. [ ... ] He asked me on Wednesday about trying out drinks like I usually do, and when I got there, he'd already had half a table full of them - mixed together in random concoctions, or otherwise.
I didn't... well, I scolded him, a little. I never just mix drinks for testing unless I'm keeping exact record of what's being mixed. I should've recognized that was destructive behavior.
[ mm. he sets his book down, fiddling absently at the edge of the cover. ]
You could probably hear it, right? My voice, at the end. [ ... ] He asked me on Wednesday about trying out drinks like I usually do, and when I got there, he'd already had half a table full of them - mixed together in random concoctions, or otherwise.
I didn't... well, I scolded him, a little. I never just mix drinks for testing unless I'm keeping exact record of what's being mixed. I should've recognized that was destructive behavior.
[he listens quietly.]
He suggested something similar to me. I wasn't that interested in experimenting, though.
[for reasons that lu bixing might be able to guess, zel doesn't like the idea of being a test subject.]
... Can't blame you if you didn't see where that was going. No one did.
He suggested something similar to me. I wasn't that interested in experimenting, though.
[for reasons that lu bixing might be able to guess, zel doesn't like the idea of being a test subject.]
... Can't blame you if you didn't see where that was going. No one did.
[ haha! yeah! he sure can!! ]
...mm. I knew he was melancholy, to say the very least, but... I wasn't sure how deep it went, really. You're right. I don't think anyone did.
...Still, I think... I guess that I'm glad, in a way. When you keep things inside like that... if we hadn't caught him, I wonder how it would've ended.
[ there's some catharsis, in capture. in release. as someone who's walked too close to the edge of despair and nearly drowned in it, bixing knows how he might have reacted. ]
...mm. I knew he was melancholy, to say the very least, but... I wasn't sure how deep it went, really. You're right. I don't think anyone did.
...Still, I think... I guess that I'm glad, in a way. When you keep things inside like that... if we hadn't caught him, I wonder how it would've ended.
[ there's some catharsis, in capture. in release. as someone who's walked too close to the edge of despair and nearly drowned in it, bixing knows how he might have reacted. ]
[his one visible eye widens at that thought.]
... Hadn't thought of it that way...
[that it could have been good for filbo to get caught like that. better than continuing that spiral he was going down, anyway...]
Hope you're right.
... Hadn't thought of it that way...
[that it could have been good for filbo to get caught like that. better than continuing that spiral he was going down, anyway...]
Hope you're right.
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