[ mm. he sets his book down, fiddling absently at the edge of the cover. ]
You could probably hear it, right? My voice, at the end. [ ... ] He asked me on Wednesday about trying out drinks like I usually do, and when I got there, he'd already had half a table full of them - mixed together in random concoctions, or otherwise.
I didn't... well, I scolded him, a little. I never just mix drinks for testing unless I'm keeping exact record of what's being mixed. I should've recognized that was destructive behavior.
...mm. I knew he was melancholy, to say the very least, but... I wasn't sure how deep it went, really. You're right. I don't think anyone did.
...Still, I think... I guess that I'm glad, in a way. When you keep things inside like that... if we hadn't caught him, I wonder how it would've ended.
[ there's some catharsis, in capture. in release. as someone who's walked too close to the edge of despair and nearly drowned in it, bixing knows how he might have reacted. ]
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What are you reading?
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A little science fiction from Ancient Earth. Thought I could use a little distraction. [ all things considered. this week sucks. ] You doing okay?
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... Yeah. About as well as can be expected, after what just happened.
[his roommate... his bluemmate...]
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...Mm. Every week, these have been brutal, but... it was hard, to hear the way that Filbo saw himself like that.
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[he folds his arms.]
I knew something was off about him lately, but I didn't really think to say anything...
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[ mm. he sets his book down, fiddling absently at the edge of the cover. ]
You could probably hear it, right? My voice, at the end. [ ... ] He asked me on Wednesday about trying out drinks like I usually do, and when I got there, he'd already had half a table full of them - mixed together in random concoctions, or otherwise.
I didn't... well, I scolded him, a little. I never just mix drinks for testing unless I'm keeping exact record of what's being mixed. I should've recognized that was destructive behavior.
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He suggested something similar to me. I wasn't that interested in experimenting, though.
[for reasons that lu bixing might be able to guess, zel doesn't like the idea of being a test subject.]
... Can't blame you if you didn't see where that was going. No one did.
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...mm. I knew he was melancholy, to say the very least, but... I wasn't sure how deep it went, really. You're right. I don't think anyone did.
...Still, I think... I guess that I'm glad, in a way. When you keep things inside like that... if we hadn't caught him, I wonder how it would've ended.
[ there's some catharsis, in capture. in release. as someone who's walked too close to the edge of despair and nearly drowned in it, bixing knows how he might have reacted. ]
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... Hadn't thought of it that way...
[that it could have been good for filbo to get caught like that. better than continuing that spiral he was going down, anyway...]
Hope you're right.
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[ filbo deserves a little closure. ]
I hope he can find some peace.
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[that's probably the best they can hope for, for the time being.]
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and then, eventually: ]
... It was you, right?
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Hm? You mean...
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[ he lightly taps his hand against the inside of his left arm. ]
You don't have to tell me - honestly, it doesn't really matter. Our focus should really be on the party itself, anyway.
[ there's a pause, though, and eventually, bixing looks away again, and says softer: ]
...I hope you found some peace, too, Zelgadis.
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... I just wanted to get the truth out there. Whatever consequences followed, I was ready to accept them.
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You aren't the only one. [ ... ] When did you figure it out?
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I'm so sorry. [ again. it bears being said. ] Did someone tell you, or by process of elimination...?
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[ HELLO ]
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It was like a higher power was telling me to go after him.
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bixing presses his lips together in a thin line. ]
...There probably was. [ @ satan. ]