lu bixing is in the ice bar this evening. more specifically, he's laying down on the icy surface but near the fireplace, wrapped in several warm blankets, and he appears to be reading a book! the room smells faintly of coffee despite the drinks.
he looks up when someone comes in, and offers zelgadis a tired smile. ]
[ mm. he sets his book down, fiddling absently at the edge of the cover. ]
You could probably hear it, right? My voice, at the end. [ ... ] He asked me on Wednesday about trying out drinks like I usually do, and when I got there, he'd already had half a table full of them - mixed together in random concoctions, or otherwise.
I didn't... well, I scolded him, a little. I never just mix drinks for testing unless I'm keeping exact record of what's being mixed. I should've recognized that was destructive behavior.
...mm. I knew he was melancholy, to say the very least, but... I wasn't sure how deep it went, really. You're right. I don't think anyone did.
...Still, I think... I guess that I'm glad, in a way. When you keep things inside like that... if we hadn't caught him, I wonder how it would've ended.
[ there's some catharsis, in capture. in release. as someone who's walked too close to the edge of despair and nearly drowned in it, bixing knows how he might have reacted. ]
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week 6 sunday
lu bixing is in the ice bar this evening. more specifically, he's laying down on the icy surface but near the fireplace, wrapped in several warm blankets, and he appears to be reading a book! the room smells faintly of coffee despite the drinks.
he looks up when someone comes in, and offers zelgadis a tired smile. ]
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What are you reading?
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A little science fiction from Ancient Earth. Thought I could use a little distraction. [ all things considered. this week sucks. ] You doing okay?
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... Yeah. About as well as can be expected, after what just happened.
[his roommate... his bluemmate...]
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...Mm. Every week, these have been brutal, but... it was hard, to hear the way that Filbo saw himself like that.
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[he folds his arms.]
I knew something was off about him lately, but I didn't really think to say anything...
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[ mm. he sets his book down, fiddling absently at the edge of the cover. ]
You could probably hear it, right? My voice, at the end. [ ... ] He asked me on Wednesday about trying out drinks like I usually do, and when I got there, he'd already had half a table full of them - mixed together in random concoctions, or otherwise.
I didn't... well, I scolded him, a little. I never just mix drinks for testing unless I'm keeping exact record of what's being mixed. I should've recognized that was destructive behavior.
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He suggested something similar to me. I wasn't that interested in experimenting, though.
[for reasons that lu bixing might be able to guess, zel doesn't like the idea of being a test subject.]
... Can't blame you if you didn't see where that was going. No one did.
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...mm. I knew he was melancholy, to say the very least, but... I wasn't sure how deep it went, really. You're right. I don't think anyone did.
...Still, I think... I guess that I'm glad, in a way. When you keep things inside like that... if we hadn't caught him, I wonder how it would've ended.
[ there's some catharsis, in capture. in release. as someone who's walked too close to the edge of despair and nearly drowned in it, bixing knows how he might have reacted. ]
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... Hadn't thought of it that way...
[that it could have been good for filbo to get caught like that. better than continuing that spiral he was going down, anyway...]
Hope you're right.
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[ filbo deserves a little closure. ]
I hope he can find some peace.
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[that's probably the best they can hope for, for the time being.]
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and then, eventually: ]
... It was you, right?
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Hm? You mean...
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[ he lightly taps his hand against the inside of his left arm. ]
You don't have to tell me - honestly, it doesn't really matter. Our focus should really be on the party itself, anyway.
[ there's a pause, though, and eventually, bixing looks away again, and says softer: ]
...I hope you found some peace, too, Zelgadis.
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... I just wanted to get the truth out there. Whatever consequences followed, I was ready to accept them.
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You aren't the only one. [ ... ] When did you figure it out?
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I'm so sorry. [ again. it bears being said. ] Did someone tell you, or by process of elimination...?
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[ HELLO ]
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It was like a higher power was telling me to go after him.
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bixing presses his lips together in a thin line. ]
...There probably was. [ @ satan. ]