he makes a quiet noise, clicking his tongue, and then reaches out to very gently put his hand on lavi's? or like, as a block between head and fist. no. ]
I think you're being awfully harsh on yourself. There are a lot of factors besides your head and your heart that made today go the way it did, Lavi.
[blocked... lavi shifts a little at the contact, surprised. then he puts his hand down, turning his face away a little. Is he being harsh? He thinks he is. He also thinks he can stand to be harsher, but that might be the dramatic side of him talking.]
Yeah. Bookman. ...He'd hate all of that. Not because of Hunter's death or Bucky even. He just wouldn't want to be involved at all.
But he would have been way more useful than I was. Wouldn't have missed the desk, or done a shitty sweep of the room.
anyway. he makes a thoughtful noise, pulling his hand back. ]
Mm. So - for you, is it better that you got involved? Whether things were swept over, or not. Would you have been able to live with yourself if you did nothing at all?
I don't know about a psychic. I'm pretty good at reading people, though.
[ lu bixing has a big heart. empathy is one of his best skills - he draws people to him like a flame for this exact reason. ]
I think, then, you did the right thing, and there's not any sense in punishing yourself. Even if you go by someone else's rules for you, you are the one who knows yourself, and in the end, what matters to you.
It was better that you got involved. From an outside party - you did more than just one sweeping investigation in a moment of panic at the very end of the evening. Don't just amount yourself to one misstep when you've already run most of the way to the finish line. Okay?
[Lavi listens, and maybe he can see that bright flame for himself. He's seen it before -- in someone he's thought about almost every day since he's been here. Even if Allen wouldn't have put it in as nice of a manner as Bixing, probably would have grabbed him by the air and shook him out of it.
...Is hell really other people? He can't bring himself to think so, when he talks to people like Bixing. anyway now he looks a little embarrassed, reaching up to rub the bridge of his nose a little,]
...Thanks, Bixing.
[it's all embarrassment mixed with appreciation,]
I'd say something like I'd do better next time, but... definitely hoping there won't be.
[ aw, baby. he can't help it - lavi is just barely older than his students used to be and he sees it, here. he sees adolescence in that embarrassed look, reminded of huang jiangshu's face when she stepped out of her mech for the first time, reminded of the four lost puppies staring up at him like he was their entire world what feels like centuries ago.
lu bixing lifts his hand - he reaches out, and ruffles lavi's hair. ]
Don't have a crow mouth, now. [ teasing. ] Anytime. You should get some rest, alright? Do something to take your mind off the day, if you need to.
I could! But, to be honest with you, I could definitely use the rest. I'm planning on it, I promise - I just want to check in with everyone before I do.
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Why.
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`A Bookman has no need for a heart. You got your emotions involved like an idiot, and that stopped you from seeing the truth.`
[bumps his fist against his head]
Bam.
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he makes a quiet noise, clicking his tongue, and then reaches out to very gently put his hand on lavi's? or like, as a block between head and fist. no. ]
I think you're being awfully harsh on yourself. There are a lot of factors besides your head and your heart that made today go the way it did, Lavi.
Is that your 'gramps'?
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Yeah. Bookman. ...He'd hate all of that. Not because of Hunter's death or Bucky even. He just wouldn't want to be involved at all.
But he would have been way more useful than I was. Wouldn't have missed the desk, or done a shitty sweep of the room.
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anyway. he makes a thoughtful noise, pulling his hand back. ]
Mm. So - for you, is it better that you got involved? Whether things were swept over, or not. Would you have been able to live with yourself if you did nothing at all?
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...Are you sure you're a prime minister and not a psychic?
[because it'd explain a lot?]
...Dunno if it was better, but yeah. Can't imagine myself doing nothing.
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I don't know about a psychic. I'm pretty good at reading people, though.
[ lu bixing has a big heart. empathy is one of his best skills - he draws people to him like a flame for this exact reason. ]
I think, then, you did the right thing, and there's not any sense in punishing yourself. Even if you go by someone else's rules for you, you are the one who knows yourself, and in the end, what matters to you.
It was better that you got involved. From an outside party - you did more than just one sweeping investigation in a moment of panic at the very end of the evening. Don't just amount yourself to one misstep when you've already run most of the way to the finish line. Okay?
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...Is hell really other people? He can't bring himself to think so, when he talks to people like Bixing. anyway now he looks a little embarrassed, reaching up to rub the bridge of his nose a little,]
...Thanks, Bixing.
[it's all embarrassment mixed with appreciation,]
I'd say something like I'd do better next time, but... definitely hoping there won't be.
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lu bixing lifts his hand - he reaches out, and ruffles lavi's hair. ]
Don't have a crow mouth, now. [ teasing. ] Anytime. You should get some rest, alright? Do something to take your mind off the day, if you need to.
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[NOOOO NO RUFFLE... first gideon and now bixing... his hands go up to his hair, looking put-out,]
That goes for you too, y'know. Or are you gonna say that adults don't need rest?
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anyway he brightens up with that, grinning. ]
I could! But, to be honest with you, I could definitely use the rest. I'm planning on it, I promise - I just want to check in with everyone before I do.
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lavi gives bixing a Suspicious look,]
Mmhmm... [MMHMMMM] That's gonna take you a whole other hour, I bet.
Guess I'll just have to stay up until you get back to the room.
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he laughs ]
Are you giving me a curfew?
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points to bixing, points his eye]
I've got my eye on you.
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he puts his hand to his heart. ]
Well, don't worry, I've never broken a curfew in my life. [ THIS IS SO OBVIOUSLY A LIE ] So, I promise I'll be there.