[If he didn't understand the value of secrets as intimately as he does, or maybe just if he were more concerned about commiserating regardless of cost, he'd acknowledge that no, Rynlan isn't better than it, actually, and he knows it. That a significant part of his silence over the past eight bells had been spent inwardly weighing the costs. Fighting his own instincts against the reality of what such a sacrifice would do, of pitting adherence to his own honor against knowing full well that given the choice, Ryn would sooner die before him.
And maybe it would've come to that. Maybe Scaramouche would've gotten away with it, and they'd condemned an innocent man, and he would've blinked awake on execution island on a stage instead of in the audience, because that's just the sort of cruel way these things tend to go.
He breathes out slowly, and it shakes. He doesn't usually have the better part of a day to sit on a knife's edge contemplating the ramifications of his own imminent demise. It's stressful, to say the least — as much from awareness of the fallout it would've created as how it would actually feel to die.]
He asked me something, a few days back. That if we were all to find our way out of this somehow, if I would consider traveling to your galaxy for a time. To see if you had the means to extend my lifespan.
[Which. Does sort of implicate his knowledge of Ryn's feelings on the subject, even if he's not going to come right out and say them.]
I find it passing strange that we so rarely see anyone defending each other at these trials. We're all quick to condemn. Draw even the slightest hint of suspicion, and...
[He shrugs again.]
I could lose him and live on. I'm getting damned good at bearing the bitter taste of failing the people I care for. It's the standing by and doing nothing that I couldn't abide. That's the part I'd find unforgivable.
[ aha.. the first part has him smile a little, expression warming up with fondness. ]
...I'm not surprised - and we'd be happy to have you. Believe it or not, I offered a similar invitation to Gideon, too.
[ it's a qiming party!!! but, beyond that, he listens to everything thancred has to say, gently pressing his thumbs against his glass, stroking through the condensations for the sake of something to do with his hands, for the feeling of cold as something grounding. ]
I'd like it if you put that energy towards solving it instead of throwing yourself onto the closest stake....but, I get it. [ it's more facetious than anything else - not a real scold or a point against thancred, or anything. ] I think putting that same energy towards finding the truth so neither of you have to die for no reason is ideal. I know it's not always possible, but... well. I won't lecture you.
[ he huffs, and then, has a more familiar lu bixing smile, soft and genuine, sad. ] ...I'm sorry that you've had to lose so much, to have to build up that kind of tolerance, Thancred.
If we're speaking of failure to make contributions to the effort, you might start with those who decided to debate the sexual attractiveness of bees for the better part of the afternoon.
[But the point still stands. And he's literally through his first beer by now, with the way he's been hitting it, so he doesn't hesitate to get up and get himself another.]
Though mayhap we'll not see any others, now. With Scaramouche out, we're down to twenty. And if Barnes is to be believed, that means we're all eligible to make it through that party's doors.
Hah - true. It's so inefficient, the way we're made to do this. If we could go out in teams and investigate instead of one at a time, we wouldn't have to waste so much time waiting.
[ unfortunately lbx that's not the point of a murdergame
but, as thancred comes back, he sips from his own drink, finally putting his notes away. thancred gets his full attention. friendship ]
Mmm. I hope so, but... I don't know. It worries me, that what happened this week had little to do with the party itself. Honestly, our time would better be spent just focusing on building up our tolerance instead of trying to cut down numbers - logically, it doesn't make any sense to me why people would just jump to killing each other, but then again, I'm not a murderer. The last two were accidents, but this especially doesn't feel that way.
No, it rather does feel as though we're all puppets being pulled about on strings, doesn't it? This has been a game since the day we arrived. The problem is that the only ones who know the rules are also the ones enforcing them — and they aren't telling.
[This beer has nothing to do with tolerance and everything to do with profound sadness, that's for sure.]
Did you notice in Chandra's notes, his message to the person who was worried he might be targeted for being weak? He took the time to write, "I was right".
He had a working theory, and saw it proved true. I wonder what it was. Mayhap we should ask.
[ thancred showing off his crow mouth here as scaramouche gets puppeted around in execution
he makes a little noise, agreeing. ]
Mmm. I tried to get an answer from Scaramouche, but... if he wouldn't give one to me, I doubt he'd give one to almost anyone. Maybe Akira, but he stuck very firmly to what he said at the end.
[ that he wouldn't answer anything. lu bixing's been pretty close with that feisty little cat, and even he couldn't squirrel a full answer out of him. ] In terms of Scaramouche targeting him... I don't know. He's got a little bit of a chip on his shoulder, but I don't know the exact reasons of why he might've chosen to attack Chandra - only that I'm sure it has nothing to do with our situation.
I'm sure we can try and find out through the phone messages, though.
[ lbx tomorrow at execution like haha what the fuck?? ]
The impression Uriel and Zagreus gave was something of a hunt. Everyone falls asleep; a few come awake. They discovered each other and had no motive to play the game, up until tragedy struck and forced Uriel's hand. Chandra's impressions seem to be similar, and though I'm only speculating based on Childe and Scaramouche's temperaments, I wouldn't be surprised if they did decide to "play".
[He shakes his head.]
There's no way to know. And barring some means of passing our intentions to them in code, I doubt those who control the lines of communication will allow any true assistance to pass through.
[ its ok he's used to lin's crow mouth this is normal
anyway. he listens to this and nods along. ]
Mmm. [ the noise is thoughtful - he finally takes another sip of his own drink, tilting his head from side to side. ] Maybe so. All we can really do is theorize.
[ as usual. ] About this, about what's to come, now that our numbers will drop to 20. And the future is dark, and full of terrors.
[ that's a little wryly, at least - a quoted joke as he lifts his glass. ] Still. No way to go but forward, huh? And try and unravel these mysteries for as much time as we have left.
If we've new, mysterious alcoholic substances turning up in the next few days — count me in for helping you test the effects, all right? I was remiss in offering assistance this past one.
[He takes a long drink of his beer, and then: ]
Though gods help me, if Rynlan spills coffee on me again I may well strangle him myself.
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no subject
And maybe it would've come to that. Maybe Scaramouche would've gotten away with it, and they'd condemned an innocent man, and he would've blinked awake on execution island on a stage instead of in the audience, because that's just the sort of cruel way these things tend to go.
He breathes out slowly, and it shakes. He doesn't usually have the better part of a day to sit on a knife's edge contemplating the ramifications of his own imminent demise. It's stressful, to say the least — as much from awareness of the fallout it would've created as how it would actually feel to die.]
He asked me something, a few days back. That if we were all to find our way out of this somehow, if I would consider traveling to your galaxy for a time. To see if you had the means to extend my lifespan.
[Which. Does sort of implicate his knowledge of Ryn's feelings on the subject, even if he's not going to come right out and say them.]
I find it passing strange that we so rarely see anyone defending each other at these trials. We're all quick to condemn. Draw even the slightest hint of suspicion, and...
[He shrugs again.]
I could lose him and live on. I'm getting damned good at bearing the bitter taste of failing the people I care for. It's the standing by and doing nothing that I couldn't abide. That's the part I'd find unforgivable.
no subject
...I'm not surprised - and we'd be happy to have you. Believe it or not, I offered a similar invitation to Gideon, too.
[ it's a qiming party!!! but, beyond that, he listens to everything thancred has to say, gently pressing his thumbs against his glass, stroking through the condensations for the sake of something to do with his hands, for the feeling of cold as something grounding. ]
I'd like it if you put that energy towards solving it instead of throwing yourself onto the closest stake....but, I get it. [ it's more facetious than anything else - not a real scold or a point against thancred, or anything. ] I think putting that same energy towards finding the truth so neither of you have to die for no reason is ideal. I know it's not always possible, but... well. I won't lecture you.
[ he huffs, and then, has a more familiar lu bixing smile, soft and genuine, sad. ] ...I'm sorry that you've had to lose so much, to have to build up that kind of tolerance, Thancred.
no subject
[But the point still stands. And he's literally through his first beer by now, with the way he's been hitting it, so he doesn't hesitate to get up and get himself another.]
Though mayhap we'll not see any others, now. With Scaramouche out, we're down to twenty. And if Barnes is to be believed, that means we're all eligible to make it through that party's doors.
no subject
Hah - true. It's so inefficient, the way we're made to do this. If we could go out in teams and investigate instead of one at a time, we wouldn't have to waste so much time waiting.
[ unfortunately lbx that's not the point of a murdergame
but, as thancred comes back, he sips from his own drink, finally putting his notes away. thancred gets his full attention. friendship ]
Mmm. I hope so, but... I don't know. It worries me, that what happened this week had little to do with the party itself. Honestly, our time would better be spent just focusing on building up our tolerance instead of trying to cut down numbers - logically, it doesn't make any sense to me why people would just jump to killing each other, but then again, I'm not a murderer. The last two were accidents, but this especially doesn't feel that way.
So... all we can do is wait and see, I guess.
no subject
[This beer has nothing to do with tolerance and everything to do with profound sadness, that's for sure.]
Did you notice in Chandra's notes, his message to the person who was worried he might be targeted for being weak? He took the time to write, "I was right".
He had a working theory, and saw it proved true. I wonder what it was. Mayhap we should ask.
no subject
he makes a little noise, agreeing. ]
Mmm. I tried to get an answer from Scaramouche, but... if he wouldn't give one to me, I doubt he'd give one to almost anyone. Maybe Akira, but he stuck very firmly to what he said at the end.
[ that he wouldn't answer anything. lu bixing's been pretty close with that feisty little cat, and even he couldn't squirrel a full answer out of him. ] In terms of Scaramouche targeting him... I don't know. He's got a little bit of a chip on his shoulder, but I don't know the exact reasons of why he might've chosen to attack Chandra - only that I'm sure it has nothing to do with our situation.
I'm sure we can try and find out through the phone messages, though.
no subject
The impression Uriel and Zagreus gave was something of a hunt. Everyone falls asleep; a few come awake. They discovered each other and had no motive to play the game, up until tragedy struck and forced Uriel's hand. Chandra's impressions seem to be similar, and though I'm only speculating based on Childe and Scaramouche's temperaments, I wouldn't be surprised if they did decide to "play".
[He shakes his head.]
There's no way to know. And barring some means of passing our intentions to them in code, I doubt those who control the lines of communication will allow any true assistance to pass through.
no subject
anyway. he listens to this and nods along. ]
Mmm. [ the noise is thoughtful - he finally takes another sip of his own drink, tilting his head from side to side. ] Maybe so. All we can really do is theorize.
[ as usual. ] About this, about what's to come, now that our numbers will drop to 20. And the future is dark, and full of terrors.
[ that's a little wryly, at least - a quoted joke as he lifts his glass. ] Still. No way to go but forward, huh? And try and unravel these mysteries for as much time as we have left.
no subject
[He'll drink to that, and toast to it as well.]
If we've new, mysterious alcoholic substances turning up in the next few days — count me in for helping you test the effects, all right? I was remiss in offering assistance this past one.
[He takes a long drink of his beer, and then: ]
Though gods help me, if Rynlan spills coffee on me again I may well strangle him myself.