he doesn't say anything, at first, closing his mouth slowly, and... lets out a long, heavy breath, an exhale through his nose. it hurts; there's a crackly noise when he inhales, from a broken rib.
a windy cliff and bloody letters, the squall of lin jingheng's gray eyes dulled down to nothing, to charcoal, to nothing. ]
[which may well explain the concern over how real it was, or wasn't-- both times he fell, though ryn doesn't have any idea of that, but it means his condition matches up.]
lmao. he - he doesn't quite laugh, but he does make a little noise, and lifts his hand to rest it up on his face, covering his remaining eye and just leaving it there. ]
No... no, that wasn't me.
[ a pause, where he stills, and... because it's rynlan, eventually, he admits, softer: ]
...It's not the first I've heard of something like this happening. [ in all of these little adventures. this is bixing's second with jingheng, one way or another. how many times has he watched lin jingheng die? how many times has lin jingheng nearly died out of his sight? which one's worse? he still doesn't know. he's not sure he wants to know.
[that he had to experience jingheng dying, again. and if it's anything like it was for rynlan-- everything seemed so real, at the time, like it all truly happened.]
Not so easy to shake even knowing it wasn't real, is it.
[ he shifts a little bit where he's settled, pulling his hand away from his face, and linking his fingers together, instead. ]
I've had nightmares about things like that so many times - that could have been right out of one of them. I think... the first week I was here, I kept waking up in the middle of the night to make... make sure he was breathing. [ like a freak, honestly, but he doesn't say that. ] Staying up late to make sure he was okay...I'm sure I'll be doing the same, now.
[ barring curfew night, of course. ]
At least... I didn't have to see him hit the ground.
[ because just knowing it happened - and, in his reality, waking up to find him gone - had almost been worse.
but - if they're sort of near each other, he scoots over and gently takes rynlan's hand if he'll let him, giving it a squeeze, worried and sympathetic. ]
...Obviously, I can't blame you. I think I would have... done the same. [ another little squeeze ] It... was relieving, to know it was fake, wasn't it?
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he doesn't say anything, at first, closing his mouth slowly, and... lets out a long, heavy breath, an exhale through his nose. it hurts; there's a crackly noise when he inhales, from a broken rib.
a windy cliff and bloody letters, the squall of lin jingheng's gray eyes dulled down to nothing, to charcoal, to nothing. ]
...I see.
[ hah. ] And you found me...?
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[which may well explain the concern over how real it was, or wasn't-- both times he fell, though ryn doesn't have any idea of that, but it means his condition matches up.]
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lmao. he - he doesn't quite laugh, but he does make a little noise, and lifts his hand to rest it up on his face, covering his remaining eye and just leaving it there. ]
No... no, that wasn't me.
[ a pause, where he stills, and... because it's rynlan, eventually, he admits, softer: ]
... It was a cliff.
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[his own voice is soft there, as well.]
Was it also-?
[was he gone there, too-- was he why? or did something else happen? he knows what was used against him, so if bixing was somewhere else...]
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he doesn't say anything at first, but the very soft huff of a humorless laugh and a wry, joyless smile might suggest the answer. ]
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he's silent a few moments, before-]
Thancred died, in mine. Used them against us.
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...It's not the first I've heard of something like this happening. [ in all of these little adventures. this is bixing's second with jingheng, one way or another. how many times has he watched lin jingheng die? how many times has lin jingheng nearly died out of his sight? which one's worse? he still doesn't know. he's not sure he wants to know.
his voice is soft, sympathetic. ]
I'm sorry, Rynlan.
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[that he had to experience jingheng dying, again. and if it's anything like it was for rynlan-- everything seemed so real, at the time, like it all truly happened.]
Not so easy to shake even knowing it wasn't real, is it.
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[ he shifts a little bit where he's settled, pulling his hand away from his face, and linking his fingers together, instead. ]
I've had nightmares about things like that so many times - that could have been right out of one of them. I think... the first week I was here, I kept waking up in the middle of the night to make... make sure he was breathing. [ like a freak, honestly, but he doesn't say that. ] Staying up late to make sure he was okay...I'm sure I'll be doing the same, now.
[ barring curfew night, of course. ]
At least... I didn't have to see him hit the ground.
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[he's quiet a few moments, there, before he finishes the thought.]
Suppose I didn't have to either, but-- don't know how I could've taken another option.
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[ because just knowing it happened - and, in his reality, waking up to find him gone - had almost been worse.
but - if they're sort of near each other, he scoots over and gently takes rynlan's hand if he'll let him, giving it a squeeze, worried and sympathetic. ]
...Obviously, I can't blame you. I think I would have... done the same. [ another little squeeze ] It... was relieving, to know it was fake, wasn't it?
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...it was.
The fake one, he- I found him with a sword wound through him. Looked like he didn't fight at all. He bled out, while I was holding on to him.
[he's still so, so relieved it was just fake.]