[ the easy warmth lavi reaches for here feels like, so familiar. it's the same way that lu bixing deals with things, the coping mechanisms he's shown everyone around him when things are going horribly wrong. he laughs, a little, halfway - fond. ]
That was nice of them. [ ... and then, ] That's not really what I asked you, though.
This week's - whatever's going on with us, has been wielded against you in the cruelest way possible. [ lu bixing bites the inside of his cheek, for a long moment. ]
[ he asks the question - not quite uneasily, but almost a little wary. he doesn't want to make lavi relive all the painful details if he doesn't want to, but at the same time... the idea of forgetting something like that, especially for someone so kindhearted, feels unbelievably cruel. ]
It'd be for the best, yeah? I know everyone's got notes, but I trust yours the most.
[maybe a small part of him thinks too -- that whatever bixing will write, it'll be better than anything Lavi can come up with. Bixing who can commit to the facts while also acknowledging his feelings, unlike Lavi -- who can only slip from one side to the next.]
[ he takes in a deep breath, and for a moment, feels the weight of something so important on his shoulders. feels the weight of sadness and sorrow, and with an exhale, puts it aside. ]
Then... [ with a very soft, small smile. ] Start at the beginning for me.
[Lavi nods, then speaks. His voice is controlled, a perfect neutrality.]
We both woke up at the same time. We knew what was happening of course, but we were confused too. Cosmos made it clear that he never wanted to kill me, and I felt the same way.
...I know that sounds suspicious, considering how the last two murders went. So I'm gonna preface that by saying I never planned on killing him -- but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have. I was paranoid that he would try. I didn't want to let him out of my sight that whole night, which is why I left the theater with him.
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...Thanks.
[as for the question, hm]
As jail cells go, it's way better than the last one I was in. Everyone's been real nice too -- Zel and Itto brought me food, Kon too.
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That was nice of them. [ ... and then, ] That's not really what I asked you, though.
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I keep thinking about what happened. Maybe it's cause I finally remember now?
[...]
I'm scared of forgetting again.
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This week's - whatever's going on with us, has been wielded against you in the cruelest way possible. [ lu bixing bites the inside of his cheek, for a long moment. ]
...Have you written it down? [ his bookman :( ]
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Only the stuff that was in Cosmos's journal. Didn't know if it'd vanish after trial ended, so I asked Chandra for some paper.
For the rest of it... I'm satisfied as long as you and the others know what happened.
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...Do you want me to take down a record?
[ he asks the question - not quite uneasily, but almost a little wary. he doesn't want to make lavi relive all the painful details if he doesn't want to, but at the same time... the idea of forgetting something like that, especially for someone so kindhearted, feels unbelievably cruel. ]
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It'd be for the best, yeah? I know everyone's got notes, but I trust yours the most.
[maybe a small part of him thinks too -- that whatever bixing will write, it'll be better than anything Lavi can come up with. Bixing who can commit to the facts while also acknowledging his feelings, unlike Lavi -- who can only slip from one side to the next.]
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[ he takes in a deep breath, and for a moment, feels the weight of something so important on his shoulders. feels the weight of sadness and sorrow, and with an exhale, puts it aside. ]
Then... [ with a very soft, small smile. ] Start at the beginning for me.
no subject
We both woke up at the same time. We knew what was happening of course, but we were confused too. Cosmos made it clear that he never wanted to kill me, and I felt the same way.
...I know that sounds suspicious, considering how the last two murders went. So I'm gonna preface that by saying I never planned on killing him -- but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have. I was paranoid that he would try. I didn't want to let him out of my sight that whole night, which is why I left the theater with him.