[ gets lu bixing settled in at the bar and sits beside him. he keeps an hand on lu bixing's while slowly drinking this terrible blue sour drink (that he has definitely been loving this entire time). ]
lu bixing looks a little surprised as he settles into his chair, raising his hand to order something for himself, too, and then glancing over. he looks tired, today, but spending even a moment in lin's company is a balm, so. ]
You - what? [ a pause, and then, he laughs, ducking his head with it.] ... I think that's mathematically impossible.... [ teasing, though. ] Why's that?
Teachers... your hearts are too big. Never understand it.
[ yes he does. he gets it. he knows that lu bixing's capacity to love is so enormous that he can't just tell him to stop. lu bixing instead will run himself into the ground knowing that those he loves are face, and will dig himself even further still when they are dead to learn the truth.
lin jingheng locks an ankle around lu bixing's. this isn't a bad thing. it is just a lu bixing... thing. he goes back to drinking. ]
[ yeah. of course he knows. lin jingheng can call him out better than he can ever really hide it. five killers, and four that he's had an incredibly close relationship with. one of whom he had to kill with his own hands.
he falls quiet for a moment, the easy smile fading off of his face, and shifts a little, nudging his ankle against his. he's okay. he lets a little bit more go, lets a little tension out of his shoulders, lets a little of that tiredness show. ]
...Mmm. Your heart's pretty big too, Lin. [ but lu bixing knows that better than anyone else does. he knows how badly he's been hurt, and how carefully guarded he has to be because of it. he knows how lucky he is, that lin found room in his heart to hold him there. he scoots the barstool over a little, enough that they're closer, and shifts to tilt his head against his arm. ]
I'm okay. [ a little more honestly. ] Hearing from them every few days helps. I'll reach out to Scaramouche, even though I'm sure he won't reach out back.
[ affectionate. ] What about you? Are you going to reach out to Childe?
I want to ask him about that list of names. Just to know.
[ he has a feeling he knows what it is but it's not really anything that's bothering him now. as lu bixing moved closer, he keeps him there, content to linger as long as he needs. ]
Sent one to Cosmos... earlier this week. Will send another probably.
I miss him. Even with you there, the room still feels empty. [ he knows lu bixing will understand bc our roommates fuckin died the same week rip. ]
[ you ever think about how there's an alternate universe where childe killed ljh and lbx went fucking nuclear
anyway. bixing tilts his head enough to look up at him when he says he wrote cosmos - he looks pleased, immediately, searching his face before. he settles back down, warm, and listens to the rest of that sour-tangy drink's effect pull some of lin jingheng's emotions from his mouth. lu bixing knows he feels those things, but to hear him say them... it makes his heart squeeze. ]
...mmm. That's how I feel about Lavi, too. [ he misses lavi so much. misses his noise and his mess and his three AM questions about squirrels and Eden and boys, sometimes, and he just misses him a lot. ] The voice messages aren't quite the same, huh?
But I like them. I like hearing their voices. It means they're within reach.
[ the drink gurgles a little bit. he hits ice. jingheng drinks the way a man denied water gorges himself after weeks in the desert. he drowns every sentiment he hates. ]
[ and when lu bixing makes a plan, that plan happens. no matter how many steps he needs, no matter how much wheedling and dealing (and how many times he thinks he has to sell his body to do it) he's going to make it happen.
he shifts a little, lightly plunks his head on jingheng's shoulder. ] We already pulled off a revolution, right? This should be a piece of cake.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wk 4, sunday
I think you have worse luck than me.
no subject
lu bixing looks a little surprised as he settles into his chair, raising his hand to order something for himself, too, and then glancing over. he looks tired, today, but spending even a moment in lin's company is a balm, so. ]
You - what? [ a pause, and then, he laughs, ducking his head with it.] ... I think that's mathematically impossible.... [ teasing, though. ] Why's that?
no subject
You know.
[ don't make him list the names out. ]
Teachers... your hearts are too big. Never understand it.
[ yes he does. he gets it. he knows that lu bixing's capacity to love is so enormous that he can't just tell him to stop. lu bixing instead will run himself into the ground knowing that those he loves are face, and will dig himself even further still when they are dead to learn the truth.
lin jingheng locks an ankle around lu bixing's. this isn't a bad thing. it is just a lu bixing... thing. he goes back to drinking. ]
no subject
he falls quiet for a moment, the easy smile fading off of his face, and shifts a little, nudging his ankle against his. he's okay. he lets a little bit more go, lets a little tension out of his shoulders, lets a little of that tiredness show. ]
...Mmm. Your heart's pretty big too, Lin. [ but lu bixing knows that better than anyone else does. he knows how badly he's been hurt, and how carefully guarded he has to be because of it. he knows how lucky he is, that lin found room in his heart to hold him there. he scoots the barstool over a little, enough that they're closer, and shifts to tilt his head against his arm. ]
I'm okay. [ a little more honestly. ] Hearing from them every few days helps. I'll reach out to Scaramouche, even though I'm sure he won't reach out back.
[ affectionate. ] What about you? Are you going to reach out to Childe?
no subject
I want to ask him about that list of names. Just to know.
[ he has a feeling he knows what it is but it's not really anything that's bothering him now. as lu bixing moved closer, he keeps him there, content to linger as long as he needs. ]
Sent one to Cosmos... earlier this week. Will send another probably.
I miss him. Even with you there, the room still feels empty. [ he knows lu bixing will understand bc our roommates fuckin died the same week rip. ]
no subject
anyway. bixing tilts his head enough to look up at him when he says he wrote cosmos - he looks pleased, immediately, searching his face before. he settles back down, warm, and listens to the rest of that sour-tangy drink's effect pull some of lin jingheng's emotions from his mouth. lu bixing knows he feels those things, but to hear him say them... it makes his heart squeeze. ]
...mmm. That's how I feel about Lavi, too. [ he misses lavi so much. misses his noise and his mess and his three AM questions about squirrels and Eden and boys, sometimes, and he just misses him a lot. ] The voice messages aren't quite the same, huh?
no subject
But I like them. I like hearing their voices. It means they're within reach.
[ the drink gurgles a little bit. he hits ice. jingheng drinks the way a man denied water gorges himself after weeks in the desert. he drowns every sentiment he hates. ]
We aren't leaving without them.
no subject
[ and when lu bixing makes a plan, that plan happens. no matter how many steps he needs, no matter how much wheedling and dealing (and how many times he thinks he has to sell his body to do it) he's going to make it happen.
he shifts a little, lightly plunks his head on jingheng's shoulder. ] We already pulled off a revolution, right? This should be a piece of cake.