[ slowly he strokes his hair, lets his fingers taper down to his neck and squeezes gently. for a while, he stays like this, frozen save for the mechanical motions to soothe bixing, who is crying into his shoulder, wetting his shirt and making him wish he could find the strength in him to pull him back and wipe them away. but he can't because he's so tired. between the both of them, there are years of aches and pains they've had to grow up without one another to help soothe.
wind-battered and sea-struck ships in a vast sea of the unknown. ]
I found you... [ soft, clutching him harder. ] I found you, it doesn't matter anymore.
[ me just like im in a mood let me do my gay little lulins
just feeling that lin jingheng is there is enough. knowing that he's a solid, real presence in lu bixing's arms helps him with the worst of his nightmares. helps him when he wakes up terrified on friday mornings, always gasping for air and clutching at the space beside him. it helps him when he's scared and insecure, when he thinks about the hateful person he's turned into, helps him when he wonders when lin jingheng is going to wise up and leave him again. but he doesn't. he's right here.
he hiccups. the noise is soft, muffled, and he buries his face in his shoulder further, nuzzling, soaking his jacket and probably getting a little snot on it as he takes a couple of deep, shaky breaths and holds onto him like an anchor.
it doesn't matter anymore. that's all he can really do for the moment, just stay there, burrowed against lin jingheng and taking deep breaths to try and keep from having a panic attack. it's fine. he's fine. everything's fine. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
wind-battered and sea-struck ships in a vast sea of the unknown. ]
I found you... [ soft, clutching him harder. ] I found you, it doesn't matter anymore.
no subject
just feeling that lin jingheng is there is enough. knowing that he's a solid, real presence in lu bixing's arms helps him with the worst of his nightmares. helps him when he wakes up terrified on friday mornings, always gasping for air and clutching at the space beside him. it helps him when he's scared and insecure, when he thinks about the hateful person he's turned into, helps him when he wonders when lin jingheng is going to wise up and leave him again. but he doesn't. he's right here.
he hiccups. the noise is soft, muffled, and he buries his face in his shoulder further, nuzzling, soaking his jacket and probably getting a little snot on it as he takes a couple of deep, shaky breaths and holds onto him like an anchor.
it doesn't matter anymore. that's all he can really do for the moment, just stay there, burrowed against lin jingheng and taking deep breaths to try and keep from having a panic attack. it's fine. he's fine. everything's fine. ]