[ sorry lavi, you have been removed from your room. and unspeakable things have happened in here.
while lu bixing is shamed, lin jingheng is like catatonic with the sheer emotion that's flooding him right now. it's over a decade's-worth and it's welling up in his chest. it's somewhere between the and that lin jingheng realizes just where he is, that lu bixing and the outline of his back the past few nights isn't a dream.
but yeah he's just fisting some blankets and breathing in as deeply as he can. ]
luckily, maybe, lu bixing is always incredibly emotional, or he is incredibly distracted by the fact that the love potion finally wore off. he's still very much in love with lin jingheng, but he looks like he might be mortified because he.
really went to town. like. wow. peeking out from behind the blankets, he gets to see the results of his handiwork, which is just. a lot of marks. my god. there are bite marks and hickeys everywhere. it's very attractive but also oh god ]
Ahah... I don't know what came over me.
[ bc lbx was the one who came over EYYYYY
no im kidding. he does reach out after a moment, fingers curling, and gently presses against a bite mark with his thumb. ] Are you okay...?
[ he feels like a chew toy, and when lu bixing presses against a raw impression of teeth, he chokes a bit. that's unfair. a reminder and he'll have to carry it and remember the moment of its delivery when he touches it himself. he looks to him now, turning so that he can use a hand and thread fingers through his hair. ]
It surprised me.
[ it's... been so long. His body aches, he's thrumming with an almost painful over-stimulation, but the full body contact he desires, won by slinking arms around lu bixing and pressing closer, helps him feel much more grounded in an instant. he can breathe. finally. ]
But I'm fine... I'm good.
[
a soft huff. ]
How can I not be? You're with me...
[ nothing is right when he isn't there. nothing at all. ]
[ oh... what a cute response? this is?? so cute???
forget being too embarrassed and shamed, because lin is being really, really cute. it is emotion week, and he just feels this starburst in his chest that goes with it when lin jingheng threads his fingers in, when he curls in close. he hasn't bothered to put on clothes, so all the skin to skin contact is such an immediate reminder that the person here is flesh and bone, not a hologram, not an illusion, not a dream.
his heart feels like its in his throat. lu bixing makes a little noise and turns over to him more properly, letting lin wrap around him, sliding a leg between his and returning the favor, hooking his arm around his back and tucking against him.
for the first time, really, it does feel like that puppy tail of his is wagging. he muffles his smile into lin jingheng's hair, and teases, very gently: ] That's my line.
... So you do remember our lines. I was beginning to wonder, Minister Lu.
[ this man is a puppy, not a dog, just a puppy. he is excitable and his eyes light up in such a way you swear the whole world could be illuminated by his eyes with just a glance.
fuck.
his eyes are a little wet. it's fine. he looks at him, and his mouth breaks into a faint smile. ]
the first time lu bixing has ever seen even a hint of something that looks like lin jingheng could CRY on his face?! he looks like. startled, at first, when they lock eyes, eyebrows jumping up - and then he also feels a swell of emotion at that smile like he's going to cry, also, and just giggles, a little uselessly, a little hysterically, and tilts his head to bonk their foreheads together, to nudge their noses. affectionate. ]
Liiin. [ it's like all he can say. it feels like he's drunk on emotions forget alcohol. weh. ]
[ it is struggling, really struggling, fighting the good fight to make its way out of his skull. tears are not something that lin jingheng has found himself moved to, not in so long, and not so damn willfully—betrayed by his own body.
he hears the sing-songing of the voice, and part of him withers just a little. ]
Mm.
[ if he opens his mouth he'll crack. he moves in closer anyways, a tangle of limbs. so he distracts himself, catching one of lu bixing's hands and pushing his face into his palm, holding onto the memory of each of his fingertips, the warmth of his hand.
(god he is really fighting this, but...)
a wet track manages to escape down the line of one of lu bixing's fingers, and can easily be felt. ]
[ oh, that feels nice. he loves that he can hold lin jingheng's face again, loves the smooth, perfect texture of his skin - it looks like it'd be cold, but he's warm and flushed, loves that little wet track
[ lu bixing, who has been overwhelmed with emotions literally every minute that he has been in hell, goes through about ten of them in the span of five minutes. there's a one second span of oh, cute, and then horror and then like, shock, and then like hysterical worry and joy all at once?? it's a lot!!!!
he makes a noise, wounded, and immediately ducks in to wipe it away, fussy and worried, brushing his thumb over his cheek, cupping his face in both of his hands instead to do it under his eye too, just in case? ]
Nooo, nonono, it's okay, it's okay, oh, Lin - are you okay? Did I break you? I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry -
[ it's only one tear! just one he's holding onto the rest! they don't deserve to abandon him in betrayal! there will be no march. instead, he closes his eyes as thumbs push there, where his face feels warm, feverish because the skin to skin feeds their warmth to one another and hell is comfortably balmy.
he shakes his head. ]
Lu...
[ eventually making eye contact with him, eventually letting another slide, and his eyebrow draws downwards. he thinks about it, living in the cage of his body under glass, and later, contemplating the means to his escape, every day eyes turned upwards. so he turns his eyes upwards now, and the feeling overwhelms him. what an empty sky he'd been trapped beneath.
what a vivid galaxy set before him here and now.
he lowers his eyes, but allows his face to be held all the same. ]
he's immediately fussy as he wipes away those tears, when a second drops, butting his head a little into lin jingheng's, tilting his head to kiss his forehead, his nose, to do anything and everything to try and stop it from happening or soothe him? his BABY ]
You're scaring me. [ he says, but he doesn't quite mean it, laughing a little, and - honestly, tears up too just at the sight, out of empathy for the person he loves most, in the entire world, of the person he has always loved, of the person he will always love, biting his own lip to keep himself from losing it and making things worth. ]
It's okay. You can cry, if you want. Our secret. [ the words are very quiet, in this little space between them. you're safe with me. maybe - if he's forgotten everything, if he's relearning how to love, then maybe just being here in this moment of vulnerability could be enough. ] I won't tell.
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no subject
while lu bixing is shamed, lin jingheng is like catatonic with the sheer emotion that's flooding him right now. it's over a decade's-worth and it's welling up in his chest. it's somewhere between the and that lin jingheng realizes just where he is, that lu bixing and the outline of his back the past few nights isn't a dream.
but yeah he's just fisting some blankets and breathing in as deeply as he can. ]
Do not act shy about what you just did.
no subject
luckily, maybe, lu bixing is always incredibly emotional, or he is incredibly distracted by the fact that the love potion finally wore off. he's still very much in love with lin jingheng, but he looks like he might be mortified because he.
really went to town. like. wow. peeking out from behind the blankets, he gets to see the results of his handiwork, which is just. a lot of marks. my god. there are bite marks and hickeys everywhere. it's very attractive but also oh god ]
Ahah... I don't know what came over me.
[ bc lbx was the one who came over EYYYYY
no im kidding. he does reach out after a moment, fingers curling, and gently presses against a bite mark with his thumb. ] Are you okay...?
no subject
It surprised me.
[ it's... been so long. His body aches, he's thrumming with an almost painful over-stimulation, but the full body contact he desires, won by slinking arms around lu bixing and pressing closer, helps him feel much more grounded in an instant. he can breathe. finally. ]
But I'm fine... I'm good.
[
a soft huff. ]
How can I not be? You're with me...
[ nothing is right when he isn't there. nothing at all. ]
no subject
forget being too embarrassed and shamed, because lin is being really, really cute. it is emotion week, and he just feels this starburst in his chest that goes with it when lin jingheng threads his fingers in, when he curls in close. he hasn't bothered to put on clothes, so all the skin to skin contact is such an immediate reminder that the person here is flesh and bone, not a hologram, not an illusion, not a dream.
his heart feels like its in his throat. lu bixing makes a little noise and turns over to him more properly, letting lin wrap around him, sliding a leg between his and returning the favor, hooking his arm around his back and tucking against him.
for the first time, really, it does feel like that puppy tail of his is wagging. he muffles his smile into lin jingheng's hair, and teases, very gently: ] That's my line.
no subject
no subject
oh. ]
... So you do remember our lines. I was beginning to wonder, Minister Lu.
[ this man is a puppy, not a dog, just a puppy. he is excitable and his eyes light up in such a way you swear the whole world could be illuminated by his eyes with just a glance.
fuck.
his eyes are a little wet. it's fine. he looks at him, and his mouth breaks into a faint smile. ]
no subject
this is
the first time lu bixing has ever seen even a hint of something that looks like lin jingheng could CRY on his face?! he looks like. startled, at first, when they lock eyes, eyebrows jumping up - and then he also feels a swell of emotion at that smile like he's going to cry, also, and just giggles, a little uselessly, a little hysterically, and tilts his head to bonk their foreheads together, to nudge their noses. affectionate. ]
Liiin. [ it's like all he can say. it feels like he's drunk on emotions forget alcohol. weh. ]
no subject
he hears the sing-songing of the voice, and part of him withers just a little. ]
Mm.
[ if he opens his mouth he'll crack. he moves in closer anyways, a tangle of limbs. so he distracts himself, catching one of lu bixing's hands and pushing his face into his palm, holding onto the memory of each of his fingertips, the warmth of his hand.
(god he is really fighting this, but...)
a wet track manages to escape down the line of one of lu bixing's fingers, and can easily be felt. ]
no subject
wait
that little wet track? ]
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no subject
he makes a noise, wounded, and immediately ducks in to wipe it away, fussy and worried, brushing his thumb over his cheek, cupping his face in both of his hands instead to do it under his eye too, just in case? ]
Nooo, nonono, it's okay, it's okay, oh, Lin - are you okay? Did I break you? I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry -
[ AAAAA A A A A AAAAA ]
no subject
he shakes his head. ]
Lu...
[ eventually making eye contact with him, eventually letting another slide, and his eyebrow draws downwards. he thinks about it, living in the cage of his body under glass, and later, contemplating the means to his escape, every day eyes turned upwards. so he turns his eyes upwards now, and the feeling overwhelms him. what an empty sky he'd been trapped beneath.
what a vivid galaxy set before him here and now.
he lowers his eyes, but allows his face to be held all the same. ]
Something in my eye... I'm fine, I...
[ another. this is a curse. what's opening up? ]
no subject
he's immediately fussy as he wipes away those tears, when a second drops, butting his head a little into lin jingheng's, tilting his head to kiss his forehead, his nose, to do anything and everything to try and stop it from happening or soothe him? his BABY ]
You're scaring me. [ he says, but he doesn't quite mean it, laughing a little, and - honestly, tears up too just at the sight, out of empathy for the person he loves most, in the entire world, of the person he has always loved, of the person he will always love, biting his own lip to keep himself from losing it and making things worth. ]
It's okay. You can cry, if you want. Our secret. [ the words are very quiet, in this little space between them. you're safe with me. maybe - if he's forgotten everything, if he's relearning how to love, then maybe just being here in this moment of vulnerability could be enough. ] I won't tell.