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[ oh this is actually soft wow i love him anyways, yeah, lin will follow him, tripping into his steps at some point. it doesn't matter where they go, so long as he doesn't have to leave lu bixing's side. his fingers clutch at him and as they draw near the docks, a breath leaves him, crisp and clear, just oxygen.
as they sit down, lin jingheng turns his eyes towards the sky a hand resting over lu bixing's waist, feeling the way he burrows into him. his lungs heave, and it feels alive, it feels human. he clutches a little tightly at his jacket, and turns inwards, covering him, holding him close.
that's hell, isn't it? it's supposed to be torture like this. hell for lin jingheng is a no-win scenario, the scales always tipping into fire no matter how quickly you climb or how far you push your boulder. he lifts the arm around lu bixing's waist and shifts to slide fingers through his hair, to draw him close and kiss the top of his head softly. ]
as they sit down, lin jingheng turns his eyes towards the sky a hand resting over lu bixing's waist, feeling the way he burrows into him. his lungs heave, and it feels alive, it feels human. he clutches a little tightly at his jacket, and turns inwards, covering him, holding him close.
that's hell, isn't it? it's supposed to be torture like this. hell for lin jingheng is a no-win scenario, the scales always tipping into fire no matter how quickly you climb or how far you push your boulder. he lifts the arm around lu bixing's waist and shifts to slide fingers through his hair, to draw him close and kiss the top of his head softly. ]
[ yeah, it doesn't matter - they are not going to be in either of those rooms, right now. lu bixing can't stand looking at his own. can't stand looking at the mess that's half lavi's. can't stand thinking about how much lavi has done for him. can't think about it. just can't.
as lin melts into his side, it breaks lu bixing's heart, a little. he hooks his arm up to wrap around him, and tugs him in, too. the kiss to the top of the head makes his heart hurt further, and he turns to return the favor, to kiss his temple. ]
You can cry, Commander. [ quietly. ] It's okay.
as lin melts into his side, it breaks lu bixing's heart, a little. he hooks his arm up to wrap around him, and tugs him in, too. the kiss to the top of the head makes his heart hurt further, and he turns to return the favor, to kiss his temple. ]
You can cry, Commander. [ quietly. ] It's okay.
No.
[ he says it very softly. ]
Enough.
[ he won't do it again you simply cannot make him. instead, he will just press against him, as though the pressure will make the awful things about today simply flutter away like ash off a match. he will accept the kiss to his temple briefly, eyes fluttering shut for the briefest sensation of peace before he reaches into his pocket and begins to sit up, still shoulder to shoulder, but freeing them both a little. ]
Smoke your herb and light me up... [ placing a cigarette between his lips. his eyes are soft as they gaze earnestly at lu bixing in the silence between them both. ]
[ he says it very softly. ]
Enough.
[ he won't do it again you simply cannot make him. instead, he will just press against him, as though the pressure will make the awful things about today simply flutter away like ash off a match. he will accept the kiss to his temple briefly, eyes fluttering shut for the briefest sensation of peace before he reaches into his pocket and begins to sit up, still shoulder to shoulder, but freeing them both a little. ]
Smoke your herb and light me up... [ placing a cigarette between his lips. his eyes are soft as they gaze earnestly at lu bixing in the silence between them both. ]
[ he laughs, a little, at that. soft, wet in the back of his throat. ]
Not going to scold me? [ uriel scolding lin had been a little funny, earlier. he still remembers the way lin jingheng found those track marks and it makes his skin crawl, and something in him fidgets uncomfortably (he's going to know who you were and he's going to hate you for it, lu bixing, unlovable that you've become) but he pushes it aside with the memory of lin jingheng's insistent reminders from weeks before and takes a deep breath.
... he will, though, carefully going to light his own up with a flick of the lighter, and then turning his head. just enough to touch the softly burning tip to lin's cigarette, holding it lightly between his fingertips until they catch, and only pulling away afterwards it's lit, barely enough. he likes the way the fire lights up lin's eyes, and likes the smell of the smoke - moreso than any drug, really. it's comforting.
he takes a pull from his own and lets it go, lets the smoke curl loose in his lungs before he exhales. ]
Not going to scold me? [ uriel scolding lin had been a little funny, earlier. he still remembers the way lin jingheng found those track marks and it makes his skin crawl, and something in him fidgets uncomfortably (he's going to know who you were and he's going to hate you for it, lu bixing, unlovable that you've become) but he pushes it aside with the memory of lin jingheng's insistent reminders from weeks before and takes a deep breath.
... he will, though, carefully going to light his own up with a flick of the lighter, and then turning his head. just enough to touch the softly burning tip to lin's cigarette, holding it lightly between his fingertips until they catch, and only pulling away afterwards it's lit, barely enough. he likes the way the fire lights up lin's eyes, and likes the smell of the smoke - moreso than any drug, really. it's comforting.
he takes a pull from his own and lets it go, lets the smoke curl loose in his lungs before he exhales. ]
[ lin jingheng remains still throughout the process, leaned back on one arm and gazing upwards until he hears the snap of the lighter and sits up a bit more. he focuses on the way the fire catches, flicking his gaze up just once for a moment to catch lu bixing staring at him in the way he does, like he hasn't brought him misery upon misery, disaster scenarios laid at his feet.
he takes a long pull from his cigarette and falls back slowly against the dock, one arm behind his head, his lungs feeling so much smaller, incapable of breathing anything in, even the smoke and tar. ]
Scold you, hm? You make a poor example, it's true. [ but a forced, small tug at his lips. ] But who really gives a shit?
he takes a long pull from his cigarette and falls back slowly against the dock, one arm behind his head, his lungs feeling so much smaller, incapable of breathing anything in, even the smoke and tar. ]
Scold you, hm? You make a poor example, it's true. [ but a forced, small tug at his lips. ] But who really gives a shit?
[ he watches lin flop backwards for a moment, and just feels this tiny rush of warmth. even after everything - the smell of cigarette smoke hitting him in the face has made him feel like he's home, in a way that no hologram could ever replenish, in a way that no memory could ever replenish. for all of the pain and suffering right now, he can focus his blinkered attention on lin jingheng and let it take his mind away.
holding onto the joint in one hand, he leans down to plant the other near lin jingheng's head, leaning just a little over him. ]
A lot of people. [ when you're the prime minister of the eighth? everyone. no one beside zhanlu and - well, in his delusions, he'd say no one besides zhanlu ever saw him at his worst, but prime minister edward knew. but, lin's right. here, it doesn't really matter.
he's too tired and sad to really joke about it, but he's fine, like this, for now. ] You were the one who got scolded, anyway. [ by miss uriel....... ]
holding onto the joint in one hand, he leans down to plant the other near lin jingheng's head, leaning just a little over him. ]
A lot of people. [ when you're the prime minister of the eighth? everyone. no one beside zhanlu and - well, in his delusions, he'd say no one besides zhanlu ever saw him at his worst, but prime minister edward knew. but, lin's right. here, it doesn't really matter.
he's too tired and sad to really joke about it, but he's fine, like this, for now. ] You were the one who got scolded, anyway. [ by miss uriel....... ]
[ he reaches up, leaving the cigarette between his lips and pushes just a little bit of lu bixing's hair back behind his ear. he admires him here, haloed by what light they have. he watches him overhead, unsure of how exactly he ought to feel. relieved? mournful? some combination of both? he wonders, for a moment, if they can sleep somewhere else tonight and doesn't bother asking. instead: ]
That's because Uriel doesn't know you're cheeky brat doing naughty things like smoking.
[ a beat ]
Unless she does, then she's just playing favorites.
That's because Uriel doesn't know you're cheeky brat doing naughty things like smoking.
[ a beat ]
Unless she does, then she's just playing favorites.
I am her favorite.
[ he says this with a little smile, soft. tired, but still there, as he tilts his head into the fingertips that tuck his hair back, nuzzling into lin jingheng's hand wholesale, eyes closed.
(he doesn't say she reminds me so much of captain turan, because that wound still hurts like a fresh, open stab. he's not forgiven her. he's not sure he ever could. but maybe, with lin, he could... maybe. maybe. )
fate is always so cruel. haven't they both learned this lesson, by now? lu bixing's starting to become numb, to loss. he has to find his solace like this, in these little moments that remind him that they're both still here. ]
And you like that I'm cheeky. [ he turns his head a little, presses a kiss to his palm. ] So in that case, I win.
[ he says this with a little smile, soft. tired, but still there, as he tilts his head into the fingertips that tuck his hair back, nuzzling into lin jingheng's hand wholesale, eyes closed.
(he doesn't say she reminds me so much of captain turan, because that wound still hurts like a fresh, open stab. he's not forgiven her. he's not sure he ever could. but maybe, with lin, he could... maybe. maybe. )
fate is always so cruel. haven't they both learned this lesson, by now? lu bixing's starting to become numb, to loss. he has to find his solace like this, in these little moments that remind him that they're both still here. ]
And you like that I'm cheeky. [ he turns his head a little, presses a kiss to his palm. ] So in that case, I win.
[ despite everything that happened today, that smile, those words, make his heart explode into butterflies.
lu bixing leans over into the forehead touch gesture, eyes fluttering shut, and exhales out. content, as he can be, right now, as some of the tension leaks out of his shoulders. ]
Hmmm?
[ because lin's words are always worth saying, too ]
lu bixing leans over into the forehead touch gesture, eyes fluttering shut, and exhales out. content, as he can be, right now, as some of the tension leaks out of his shoulders. ]
Hmmm?
[ because lin's words are always worth saying, too ]
You always win. It isn't fair.
[ but it doesn't seem like he minds... slowly gripping his shoulders and pressing forward, pinning how beside him to the dock, his eyes trained on him. ]
Please.
Kiss me.
[ his hands slide upwards, holding his face in earnest, thumbs stroking his cheeks. he bites his tongue, holds still as stone. he waits. ]
[ but it doesn't seem like he minds... slowly gripping his shoulders and pressing forward, pinning how beside him to the dock, his eyes trained on him. ]
Please.
Kiss me.
[ his hands slide upwards, holding his face in earnest, thumbs stroking his cheeks. he bites his tongue, holds still as stone. he waits. ]
[ oKAY
OKAY!!!! WELL OKAY!!!!!
how can he say no to that? god. not in a million years. whatever he was going to say dies in a half laugh half exhale noise and his cheeks flush underneath lin jingheng's hands. lu bixing almost never stops talking, but it's only lin who can make him lose all of his words in a millisecond, and he swallows the butterflies that have taken the place of his vocal chords and nods.
and presses into his hands, and then ducks forward, and kisses him. soft, sweet and lingering, relishing, easily dropping his weight down to cage lin in and press as close to him as possible, almost needily, even now, still desperate for those little presses of affection like they're brand new again. ]
OKAY!!!! WELL OKAY!!!!!
how can he say no to that? god. not in a million years. whatever he was going to say dies in a half laugh half exhale noise and his cheeks flush underneath lin jingheng's hands. lu bixing almost never stops talking, but it's only lin who can make him lose all of his words in a millisecond, and he swallows the butterflies that have taken the place of his vocal chords and nods.
and presses into his hands, and then ducks forward, and kisses him. soft, sweet and lingering, relishing, easily dropping his weight down to cage lin in and press as close to him as possible, almost needily, even now, still desperate for those little presses of affection like they're brand new again. ]
[ well that is not the word he wanted but
when he makes the "a" sound with his mouth lu bixing whips a hand out and
puts a warm chocolate chip cookie directly in lin jingheng's mouth.
and then takes his hand and says: ] Good boy.
when he makes the "a" sound with his mouth lu bixing whips a hand out and
puts a warm chocolate chip cookie directly in lin jingheng's mouth.
and then takes his hand and says: ] Good boy.
Edited (NO THE RESTO F MY TAG ) 2023-02-27 03:05 (UTC)
[ you know how when your cat's about to kill you and you're holding onto them even though you know you're about to lose your fingers so you hold on a little tighter
that's what lu bixing is doing right now with the hand he's holding. he lets the rest of the cookie fall, because he tries to catch it but his depth perception is still ass and fails, and instead puts his attention up to him and bats his eyelashes. ]
Good?
that's what lu bixing is doing right now with the hand he's holding. he lets the rest of the cookie fall, because he tries to catch it but his depth perception is still ass and fails, and instead puts his attention up to him and bats his eyelashes. ]
Good?
[ i just think the funniest possible option is for this to happen at the worst possible time. so it's happening like this - it's when lu bixing is coming to greet lin jingheng this fine morning, that he leans over and pecks him on the mouth as a kiss good afternoon that the hole for memory share opens up right underneath them.
lu bixing hits the ground, surprised, still holding onto lin's arm. he barely has enough time to process what's happening when he realizes the screen has once again dropped. there's a small, sharp gasp, and he hopes, against all hopes, this is going to be something normal -
but of course, it's not. ]
lu bixing hits the ground, surprised, still holding onto lin's arm. he barely has enough time to process what's happening when he realizes the screen has once again dropped. there's a small, sharp gasp, and he hopes, against all hopes, this is going to be something normal -
but of course, it's not. ]
Edited 2023-02-28 20:25 (UTC)
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