pc catchall | superhell | rynlan

[engineers]

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[voidshift]

I was cooperative last week!

[he's making an effort!]

Lavi can just do it again, it’s fine.

[engineers]

Bodies are just bodies, you know. It's not that big of a deal.

[ spoken like a fucking scientist ]

[voidshift]

...it is to some of us.

[he's a former healer, he gets it, looking at bodies is literally part of the job, but. still.]

[engineers]

I know this is bad advice, but try not to focus on it. If it helps, most of the people here are going to feel some form of shame or embarrassment doing this - you're in good company.

[ most people are not lu bixing who is clearly not bothered but he also knows he's a weird little human sometimes. he gives him a smile, a little sympathetic. ] I wish I could offer a magic pill to make it a little easier for you, but I think we're going to be exhausting our uses of weird drinks.

[voidshift]

It's not like that, I'm not-- if I were just shy or something then it wouldn't be an issue.

[...he debates, a few moments, before he exhales a breath. i'm doing time bullshit here bc-]

Alright, Lin knows some of it, gave him permission to talk to you anyway-- I've seen who's been dying here. The problem is that it could make me more of a target.

[engineers]

[ ??? ??? ??? oh he looks so curious, like, immediately. ]

What is it?

[voidshift]

...had to retire early due to injury. Lavi's seen the extent of it, one or two others, but I couldn't really hide it from Lin in the first trial either. Just haven't let him see.

[gesturing to his left leg-] It's a good replacement, obviously, not like most can tell easily, but I don't want to be known as-- not entirely capable.

[engineers]

[ oh... fascinating. the curiosity on lu bixing's face stays, as he tilts his head a little in realization. his own new injury and debilitation is like screamingly obvious, so to have to hide it... ]

...I see. [ wow. ] That's... I can't blame you for being careful. Is it really obvious in its construction...? I wonder if I couldn't help construct something to help you cover it a little easier...

[voidshift]

It is, if it's visible. Metal, but powered by magic to let it move normally, so- the shape isn't exact. At least its core still seems functional here.

w2, saturday

[engineers]

[ where's rynlan after all that? lu bixing is out on the dock. he's holding somethin between his fingers that is definitely smoking. it's fine. ]

[voidshift]

[he's out here too, at some point, also smoking something. smells like weed, probably-- the cat is not with him.

he just takes a seat, quiet.]

[engineers]

[ well, hey, that's fine, because if that's what rynlan does he will probably recognize it's also what lbx has. he stubs it out, though, and then glances at rynlan, and then back out. ]

...How're you feeling? [ after all of that. ]

[voidshift]

Terrible. You?

[he takes a long drag off of his own, exhaling slowly, though he makes sure to turn his head away from lbx.]

[engineers]

Terrible.

[ agreed, gamely. ]

...I'm sorry, if I got a bit too intense, at the end.

[voidshift]

...think it's understandable. Tensions were high.

[he shakes his head, at that.]

[engineers]

[ he's quiet for a moment, but. ]

... Even still, I don't regret what I said.

[voidshift]

You don't seem like the type to have said if you would regret it.

[engineers]

I'm not.

[ he looks down, absently, at his hands. ]

... I learned that lesson the hard way. Even if you think you can outrun the truth, you never can. No matter how long you want to avoid something, it will come around to bite you.

[voidshift]

Doesn't mean I want to face things all the time, frankly. I've done enough of it.

[engineers]

Just because you turn away from them doesn't mean they stop.

[ so. ] Even if I said it, you already knew by then. We all did. Is that really ignoring it, in the first place?

[voidshift]

...I don't know. Suppose I was hoping if we didn't all acknowledge it, it wouldn't...

[engineers]

That's not how that works.

[ his voice softens, at least. ] It never is.

Even if it was, we would've voted for someone who did nothing. Based on a popularity contest.

[voidshift]

It still doesn't sit right. I don't think he would have done it intentionally.

[his ears twitch, hair tentacles writhing.]

...wouldn't feel good in either case, I think, since someone who didn't do anything is the alternative.

[engineers]

No. And in the end, what we're asked to do here is to make a cruel choice - there is no abstaining. We have to make the choice that we can live with.

[ a pause, here. ] ...Or in this case, the choice he can live with. I wouldn't want to live with the guilt of it, if I were in his shoes, either.

[voidshift]

...well, I didn't want to live with condemning him for it. Not worth it.

It was easier with the other two.

[this one, though-- he doesn't need more things that badly.]