[ i'm so fucking scared of you i swear to god im going to also jump off of a cliff
he fell. he promised prime minister edward eight times. wondered, sometimes, what he would have done, if he didn't make it. if his eighth hatch mark would lead to the destruction of the galaxies, to the unleashing of an army of super soldiers, to his own sanity spiraling into utter despair. it led to something simpler. a leap. a fall.
waking up.
lu bixing take a breath, too. short, sharp, almost a gasp, like he has to force himself to remember, again. focus. focus. focus. this isn't how it happens.
when jingheng comes closer, bixing makes a soft, choked off noise. he lifts his arms, and moves them up, over jingheng's shoulders, slowly, even if it pulls the muscles, even if it hurts, and curls them tight around his shoulders. he hiccups, even if it hurts. feels the tears well up in his remaining eye, and he turns his head against his shoulder and whispers, strained and broken into pieces, like he'd been weeks and weeks ago.]
Please don't.
[ don't leave me. please don't leave me. ] I can't - I can't, I can't do it without you. I can't. I know I can't.
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he fell. he promised prime minister edward eight times. wondered, sometimes, what he would have done, if he didn't make it. if his eighth hatch mark would lead to the destruction of the galaxies, to the unleashing of an army of super soldiers, to his own sanity spiraling into utter despair. it led to something simpler. a leap. a fall.
waking up.
lu bixing take a breath, too. short, sharp, almost a gasp, like he has to force himself to remember, again. focus. focus. focus. this isn't how it happens.
when jingheng comes closer, bixing makes a soft, choked off noise. he lifts his arms, and moves them up, over jingheng's shoulders, slowly, even if it pulls the muscles, even if it hurts, and curls them tight around his shoulders. he hiccups, even if it hurts. feels the tears well up in his remaining eye, and he turns his head against his shoulder and whispers, strained and broken into pieces, like he'd been weeks and weeks ago.]
Please don't.
[ don't leave me. please don't leave me. ] I can't - I can't, I can't do it without you. I can't. I know I can't.