[ the hold helps. looking into lin's eyes - gray as stormclouds, beautiful and perfect, framed by long lashes - knowing they're his, that there's something there, and not the dead-eyed stare that lu bixing met on the edge of that cliff.
he swallows. swallows like it's around a star, bright and painful and terrible. don't be afraid, coaxes, but he's terrified. he's terrified, to tell lin this, but he doesn't have to be scared. his hand is trembling, where lin jingheng is holding it, just like the first week. like he's terrified lin might vanish. that he might hate him for the choked off and painful way he says, like a stab in the gut like it might hurt less to just let the words out - ]
I went after you.
[ I fell.
as it turns out, when lu bixing hit his eighth hatch mark, he wasn't going to stand up again. ]
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he swallows. swallows like it's around a star, bright and painful and terrible. don't be afraid, coaxes, but he's terrified. he's terrified, to tell lin this, but he doesn't have to be scared. his hand is trembling, where lin jingheng is holding it, just like the first week. like he's terrified lin might vanish. that he might hate him for the choked off and painful way he says, like a stab in the gut like it might hurt less to just let the words out - ]
I went after you.
[ I fell.
as it turns out, when lu bixing hit his eighth hatch mark, he wasn't going to stand up again. ]