he takes a slow, steadying breath and lets lin's fingers ground him. it feels like a dam has broken - he's done decently at keeping himself from crying except their very first day, but the tears are starting now and won't stop, and he just lets them fall.
seeing lin nearly die again on the screen, and knowing what happened in that seventeen year block is both horrifying and comforting in a twisted way (knowing he wasn't living some other life but hell, instead). it's also distracting from the horror of his own guilt and shame of the seventeen years he lived without him, too, and he just sinks into lin jingheng and shakes his head against his jacket. ]
I'm so sorry. [ he says, instead, quietly. muffled. miserably. sorry more that he had to go through it than anything - that he was alone. ]
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he takes a slow, steadying breath and lets lin's fingers ground him. it feels like a dam has broken - he's done decently at keeping himself from crying except their very first day, but the tears are starting now and won't stop, and he just lets them fall.
seeing lin nearly die again on the screen, and knowing what happened in that seventeen year block is both horrifying and comforting in a twisted way (knowing he wasn't living some other life but hell, instead). it's also distracting from the horror of his own guilt and shame of the seventeen years he lived without him, too, and he just sinks into lin jingheng and shakes his head against his jacket. ]
I'm so sorry. [ he says, instead, quietly. muffled. miserably. sorry more that he had to go through it than anything - that he was alone. ]