this is the thing. when lu bixing first heard lin jingheng's voice, he immediately asked zhanlu for a relaxant. a strong one. because he knew, he knew, in that moment of crisis, this was going to be a nuclear explosion somewhere in his chest cavity. he knew he was going to fall apart, and he'd started to. in the heart of the rose, with the whole world stretched and dilated and wrong, lu bixing's entire soul shattered.
but that relxant's long since worn off, and he can't just keep his cool, can't try and dam up a rush of emotions that threaten to choke him alive. he sucks in a breath, a hiccup, when lin jingheng puts his hands on him, and his eyes well up with tears. ]
You're - [ what can he even say? ] Lin, you're really -
[ the words die off with a choked sob, and he finally releases the jumpsuit with one hand, touches, a hand to his neck, constantly feeling for pulse, pulse, pulse, and each beat he can feel makes it more solid. makes it feel more real. his head bumps against lin jingheng's in a nuzzle, just the sort of desperate press one has to. he thinks he's going to shake apart. he thinks he's going to burst, like a supernova, right now in the middle of this... wherever they are, because he can't shake free of a single emotion when there are so many that the floodgates are too small. his hands are trembling, enough that he doesn't even notice the lack of his strength from his biochip.
and eventually, he's decided, that nothing else matters. not the wormhole that must have stretched them both apart. not the eighth galaxy. not the ius. not anything in the world but the fact that he's holding onto lin jingheng who is supposed to be dead, and he thinks with a slightly hystiercal tilt, we're both dead, hiccups, and crushes the resulting near spark of panic in his brain by doing the smartest and only thing he can do.
that is to say, obviously, he kisses lin jingheng.
much like the one in the wormhole, it's not clean - there's the knock of teeth together, the bite into soft flesh, and it doesn't last long, but it's just a reminder for an incredibly dazed and sick and exhausted lu bixing that the person in front of him is no constructed clone or hologram, but a real, live person.
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this is the thing. when lu bixing first heard lin jingheng's voice, he immediately asked zhanlu for a relaxant. a strong one. because he knew, he knew, in that moment of crisis, this was going to be a nuclear explosion somewhere in his chest cavity. he knew he was going to fall apart, and he'd started to. in the heart of the rose, with the whole world stretched and dilated and wrong, lu bixing's entire soul shattered.
but that relxant's long since worn off, and he can't just keep his cool, can't try and dam up a rush of emotions that threaten to choke him alive. he sucks in a breath, a hiccup, when lin jingheng puts his hands on him, and his eyes well up with tears. ]
You're - [ what can he even say? ] Lin, you're really -
[ the words die off with a choked sob, and he finally releases the jumpsuit with one hand, touches, a hand to his neck, constantly feeling for pulse, pulse, pulse, and each beat he can feel makes it more solid. makes it feel more real. his head bumps against lin jingheng's in a nuzzle, just the sort of desperate press one has to. he thinks he's going to shake apart. he thinks he's going to burst, like a supernova, right now in the middle of this... wherever they are, because he can't shake free of a single emotion when there are so many that the floodgates are too small. his hands are trembling, enough that he doesn't even notice the lack of his strength from his biochip.
and eventually, he's decided, that nothing else matters. not the wormhole that must have stretched them both apart. not the eighth galaxy. not the ius. not anything in the world but the fact that he's holding onto lin jingheng who is supposed to be dead, and he thinks with a slightly hystiercal tilt, we're both dead, hiccups, and crushes the resulting near spark of panic in his brain by doing the smartest and only thing he can do.
that is to say, obviously, he kisses lin jingheng.
much like the one in the wormhole, it's not clean - there's the knock of teeth together, the bite into soft flesh, and it doesn't last long, but it's just a reminder for an incredibly dazed and sick and exhausted lu bixing that the person in front of him is no constructed clone or hologram, but a real, live person.
(even if maybe live is subjective.) ]