the others probably didn't notice it, but of course, lin jingheng would. of course, lin jingheng would see the way that lu bixing's eyes widened when he read the note, and then the way he just - shut down. he's shut down, since, the light in his eyes almost vanished. the way he reached out and sent text messages to confirm with others that they were alright - four, persephone, lavi, kon, hana, the people he's become close to, the careful response of someone who has been through this, before. how he started to make a list of places to investigate on his phone. how he started to sort through potential gun owners - ryo, hana. lin with his harpoon, but it would've left a different mark and he doesn't even consider it. the simple matters of evidence. the who. the what. the why.
he's silent the entire time lin jingheng starts to manhandle him. he doesn't stumble or fight him off just allows it to happen, on complete and total autopilot. he doesn't allow himself to feel for a second. he can't. not again.
(not again. not captain turan's voice. we lost contact with Zhanlu... We lost contact with Monoeye Hawk.)
not again.
it's only when his chin is grabbed that he finally seems to snap out of wherever his mind was. lu bixing blinks, unfocused, and turns his gaze on lin. (lin, who is alive, who he just watched die this week, which he sees every time he closes his eyes.) ]
What?
[ is what he says, at first, truly - like he's coming back online. ] I'm not...
[ it's a useless protest, probably, but he has to hold onto the threads of his composure or they'll crack. ]
no subject
the others probably didn't notice it, but of course, lin jingheng would. of course, lin jingheng would see the way that lu bixing's eyes widened when he read the note, and then the way he just - shut down. he's shut down, since, the light in his eyes almost vanished. the way he reached out and sent text messages to confirm with others that they were alright - four, persephone, lavi, kon, hana, the people he's become close to, the careful response of someone who has been through this, before. how he started to make a list of places to investigate on his phone. how he started to sort through potential gun owners - ryo, hana. lin with his harpoon, but it would've left a different mark and he doesn't even consider it. the simple matters of evidence. the who. the what. the why.
he's silent the entire time lin jingheng starts to manhandle him. he doesn't stumble or fight him off just allows it to happen, on complete and total autopilot. he doesn't allow himself to feel for a second. he can't. not again.
(not again. not captain turan's voice. we lost contact with Zhanlu... We lost contact with Monoeye Hawk.)
not again.
it's only when his chin is grabbed that he finally seems to snap out of wherever his mind was. lu bixing blinks, unfocused, and turns his gaze on lin. (lin, who is alive, who he just watched die this week, which he sees every time he closes his eyes.) ]
What?
[ is what he says, at first, truly - like he's coming back online. ] I'm not...
[ it's a useless protest, probably, but he has to hold onto the threads of his composure or they'll crack. ]